Dim Mirror, Dim Matt

For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. (1 Cor. 13:12)

“How is school going,” you might ask. I am a loofah attempting to soak up a deluge of water, losing much of what is sent my way. I am being enlightened daily to the fact that I know about as much as a four-letter expletive. Nonetheless, I am learning much and am very happy to be where I am. There are tough questions being asked of me, and I don’t have answers to them all – to most, in fact. And that IS OKAY. I’m learning to live in the grey for the moment – hoping for future clarity, rejoicing in clarity as if it shows itself in the present, and beginning to understand that in many things I will see dimly until I am face to face with God (I will be looking down and to the left).

Many of the questions coming my way are very basic questions, but the most important questions in life are basic questions. What are my beginnings in faith and life? What do I believe? How do I relate to people and why do I do so in those ways? How do I relate to God and why do I do so in those ways? How is my relation to people related to my relation to God? Do I want fries with that? Why am I spending so much time on Facebook? And, of course, the key question of Mars Hill Graduate School: what is my story?

I’m starting slowly; I have many questions to ask now, but have even more questions that I do not yet know how to enunciate. It will take a long time, a lifetime, but it is worth it. If half of my hope in Jesus is true, then the journey to embody my beliefs are worth more than my lifetime. Now off to sleep.

Still Alive

Seattle is treating me well, and I am returning the favor. The weather has been good. The coffee has been proof that God loves me and wants me to be happy. Seriously. I thought I knew. I didn’t. You may not; therefore, be humble. I still don’t, though I am learning more day in and day not. What am I talking about again?

I’ve met some quality people so far. Others haven’t been so much, but I’m sure that if you’re reading this, you’re in the former camp. The roommates are all good people. It’s been a while since I’ve lived in a full house, and I’m being reminded relearning that I am a selfish, anal jerk. Living in close quarters will quickly reveal pet peeves and anal tendencies. I’m an INTJ, for crying out loud. There is a correct way to do things … and you should really be able to figure it out with me telling you. … In all seriousness, it’s gone well, but I’m noticing that my way is not the only way, nor even the best way at all times. I’m learning about grace, and I hope my roommates are too. If not, maybe I’ll be voted off by Christmas.

Seriously, did I mention the coffee out here? ‘Frickin amazing!

This past Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday saw 107 new MHGS students oriented to life in grad school, Seattle, and the nexus of the two that make up Mars Hill Graduate School. While demanding, it was quite information and provided good opportunities to meet people. There is a passion here among the students, faculty, and staff that invites one into community. This place is by no means perfect, nor are the people. But there is something of the honesty of a broken people that is very inviting, as well as refreshing. Classes also began this week and saw some very honest questions. This is not a place where the professors spout information that students are to regurgitate at predetermined intervals. This is a place to ask questions anew or for the first time:

  • why do I believe what I believe?
  • do I really believe all that I say I believe?
  • how do I love and interact with someone that has been hurt deeply by organized religion?
  • what simple/trite/easy answers have I repeated time and time again, but have never pondered?
  • and many, many more

There is really something quite beautiful about this environment that will help me formulate questions that are I don’t yet know I have. There are people to help me along the way, and, hopefully, people that I will help along the way.

I’m rambling a bit, but this is only because if you’re still coming to this site after my extended period of silence I feel that you’re entitled to a bit of length. The quality sucks, I know, but it’s 1:13 a.m. PST. It’s more than likely 4:13a.m. your time. Go to sleep.

I’ll now join you.